Memories
by Neev
Summary: A weird stream of consciousness fic from Zechs perspective, set after Endless Waltz or at least the end of the series. 13+6


A/N: Bring on the sap! X.x Actually, I can't believe I wrote something this sappy. That always happens   
when than damnable muse of mine gives me inspiration at around one in the morning and I *have* to write   
it down or I'll forget it the next morning.  
  
Warnings: Um...Zechs has a rather disturbing dream. Also, there's some vaguely shota 13+6 stuff going   
on but nothing too bad. Oh, and it may be rather confusion inducing since it's a stream of consciousness   
fic.  
  
Disclaimer: Zechs-san is not mine. (Sadly) Treize-sama is not mine. (*Cries*) They belong to Sunrise,   
Bandai, and all those other companies, none of which have anything to do with me. Please do not sue. My   
D&D characters have more money than I do.  
  
~ Memories ~  
  
"I love you."   
  
I remember when you first said those words to me so long ago. It was the first and only time you truly said   
them to me. I was twelve then and you were sixteen. It was during one of those long visits I used to have   
to your family's mansion before we both became caught up in our war. Those visits make up some of the   
few fond memories I have of my childhood. I loved coming to your mansion; it was the only thing I could   
look forward to returning to while I was bounced from one foster home to another. It was the only place I   
felt truly safe.  
  
And, of course, you were there. You made me feel safe as well and you put up with me as I fought with the   
ghosts of the Cinq kingdom after its fall. It was horrible at night especially. With all the boundaries and   
distractions of the real world stripped away the guilt, the fear, the unbearable sadness - everything - was   
free to wreak havoc on me. When I was very young you used to climb into bed with me and let me cling   
to you like you were some giant teddy bear. You never complained though. Not once. You just lay there   
with your arms around me and kept the ghosts at bay.  
  
It became a habit, after a while, to sleep in the same bed when I was visiting. Long after I stopped needing   
you to hold onto we did so. Eventually this came to a stop as well once we grew older. It just wasn't proper   
to have two teenage boys sleep in the same bed and thus, even if we wanted to, our prides wouldn't allow   
it. And so when ever I visited after that we made a show of sleeping in different rooms.  
  
On the year I turned twelve I only visited your mansion once, just before I was to go away to Lake Victoria.   
The ghosts of the Cinq kingdom were back in full force for that visit. I was trying to avenge my father yet   
at the same time I was betraying everything he stood for. I often had horrible nightmares about my father's   
ghost seeing what I had done and becoming angry with me. This time though, you weren't there to comfort   
me at night, Treize.  
  
Except on that last night. The night before I took the first true step to revenge for my father's death. I was   
excited, and nervous, and afraid and I came so close to asking you to stay with me that night. I didn't,   
though I think you know I wanted too. How could you not with me acting so oddly all day?  
  
At any rate, I went to bed alone and when I fell asleep I had what is with out a doubt the most horrifying   
dream I have ever had. I can barely remember any of it now, except for the very end of it. I was standing   
in the ruins of the Cinq kingdom with my hands stained red and dripping blood. There were corpses all   
around me, horribly mutilated things that were scattered among the rubble of my once peaceful homeland,   
and all of them were killed at my hand. There were hundreds of the corpses and it seemed that every time I   
looked around, there were more of them. But the worst was when I turned around to find the body of my   
own father among the dead. His body was nothing more than sickening mass of blood and gore, only the   
head was still in tact. The head stared up at me with a look of anger and betrayal frozen on its face for all   
eternity. I was terrified beyond anything I had ever felt and I woke up screaming with my body drenched   
in sweat.  
  
And then, suddenly, you were there. Perhaps you watching my fitful sleep called by some instinct to come   
to my room that night. I don't know. But you were there and that was what mattered. I think I feel in love   
with you then, when I saw you standing next to my bed clad in nothing more than boxer shorts. You   
weren't illuminated by a pale shaft of moonlight or wearing shining white armor or anything else suitably   
poetic that might have accounted for my sudden love. You were a slender, half-naked sixteen-year-old boy   
who I saw in the soft orange light of the night-light, but it didn't matter. I fell in love with you any way.   
  
You slid into bed next to me and put your arms around me and listened with out saying a word as I sobbed   
out the whole dream to you. And you continued to listen as everything else just came pouring out. I told   
you about my fears, my nervousness, and how even with the man six years dead, I still needed my father's   
approval and, in a way, his love. You listened and let me get it all out and when I was finished you still   
said nothing. Instead you gently lifted my chin with one hand and pressed your lips against mine. The kiss   
was incredibly soft and sweet and oh so fleeting. Your lips felt warm against mine and then you had pulled   
away again, almost before I realized what was happening.   
  
"*I* love you," you whispered in my ear before slipping out of the bed again. I didn't say anything to you.   
How could I form a reply to those words? I just watched as you padded silently across the carpeted floor to   
the door. You paused there, at the door, and turned to look at me once before slipping out of the room and   
shutting the door behind you.  
  
The next day neither of us said anything about that night. It was almost as if it had never happened and   
sometimes I believed that it never had. But the hug you gave me before I boarded the plane to Lake   
Victoria was too real, and last too long. I didn't doubt after that.  
  
After I went to Lake Victoria I didn't see you again face to face until several years later and I never have   
been back to that mansion. Did you ever forget what happened there, what you said to me? I hope not,   
with all my heart. I hope that you kept that memory close to you and continued to believe in those words. I   
never truly got a chance to tell you this in life, but I love you, Treize. I always will.  



End file.
